– Power of Perspective In Reactive Situations–

What is the power of perspective in reactive situations? It is the ability to control your reaction in an emotional or stressful situation. To be more precise it will give you the ability to see the entire situation without taking everything personally.

In every situation, we are constantly giving and taking information. The key here is to always be aware of yourself and where you are giving from and receiving too. Now, this may sound superficial but in actuality, it is the ability to communicate with your true self.

You are always filtering the world around you. People, places, and things create experiences every day. You are constantly comparing the world to your own self and belief system in your own mind’s eye in the background even if you are unaware at the time.

There are many theories in cognitive science surrounding the brain’s ability to learn, adapt and change. No two are the same but some have the same basic ideas.

Developing Self Awareness

Have you ever experienced a gut-wrenching feeling when listening to someone talk? Almost like the words make you cringe inside? Or the ever-so-familiar feeling of agreement throughout your entire body almost to the point of shanking your head yes? Both of these are extreme examples of what is going on in the background of your mind in your subconscious.

These reactions are triggered by your beliefs. Things that are not congruent or the same as your beliefs can feel “yucky” for lack of a better word inside your stomach or chest. When we are in agreement the feeling is much more pleasant, almost like it “fits” you.

Learning to understand the “feelings” you are having about the world around you will help you develop a sense of who you are. This is an important step to becoming more self-aware.  You must know where you are beginning and what your beliefs are before you can determine what may have caused them.

Where Do Beliefs Come From?

We start setting our beliefs about the world as children.  As we grow and experience the world more we update those beliefs, normally. What may have been true to keep a small child safe “don’t go near the stove, it may be hot” will not apply as you grow and learn how to use the stove properly so you can eat.  

On some occasions, a traumatic event can set a belief so deep that it doesn’t update on its own. With these beliefs, you may not realize you have a trigger but your subconscious does. The reaction will happen automatically according to the stored information in your Amygdala. On these occasions, it may take coaching to get you “unhooked” but overall you can learn to do this all on your own.

As a child, you begin developing your beliefs by learning what makes you happy, sad, afraid, and excited. All these experiences begin to develop the foundation of our belief structure. All our experiences in life add to our beliefs and values. Some may change them or alter them. Others may just confirm and solidify what we already believe. 

Once you take the time to learn what your beliefs are. you can begin to look back and discover where they came from. Some beliefs are formed from healthy experiences others may be set by trauma. Both healthy and traumatic beliefs can be very healthy. Learning that a stove is hot by touching it, though painful at the time, has definitely made you more aware. It is not a traumatic experience that you need to change your opinion of. Don’t touch the hot stove is a healthy belief.

How Do You Change Your Beliefs

Now that you have taken the time to discover what your beliefs are understanding where they came from will help you determine if they still serve you or need to be updated. Do you possess current information that outdates the beliefs you have? This is the first question to start developing the power of perspective in reactive situations.

What you believe is reinforced every day with your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself. Your subconscious is constantly looking for ways to help confirm what you believe. Your brain is very smart, it will bring to your attention examples of what you believe to be true from the world around you.

To be able to change what you believe you must change the conversation you have with yourself. By changing the conversation you’re having with yourself you are retraining your subconscious to look for new facts in the world around you. Remember. your brain is constantly trying to confirm what you believe.

You must also be cognizant of the Words you use in the story you tell yourself. If you truly do not believe in what you are saying your mind will know. If something you want to change about yourself still feels too far-fetched. Use words that open you to the possibility of growth to where you want to be.

You can use phrases like I am becoming better at “blank”. I am attracting into my life what I need to become better at “blank”. Every time I do “blank” I become better at it. Any words that will help you develop a perspective of growth or change and the possibilities for the future will also help you move your beliefs toward where you want them to be.

Using your Beliefs to Navigate the World

The more you become aware of the world around you and how you are reacting and feeling towards it. The more confidence you will gain in who you are. Knowing what your reactions are to the situations that come about every day helps you have the ability to control your reaction. This will give you the power of perspective in reactive situations.

Learning to develop the ability to look inside when something triggers you because you are more curious about why you’re triggered than what or who is triggering you is the ultimate goal. Looking at a situation from a neutral non-judgemental position is difficult. Sometimes you even have to physically bite your tongue.

Take a deep breath and remember that some things are beyond your control. And what someone else does or says is definitely one. If you have to take to a deep breath. Then step back and instead of choosing to react outward at the situation. Train yourself to look in words and see what caused your reaction.

It doesn’t mean your reaction is inappropriate as far as how you feel. You may also find that it’s something that you feel you need to consider more at a later date. Either way, the few seconds you take to look inward also get a new time to avoid a hasty response outward.

Power of Perspective In Reactive Situations

Remember that no matter what your beliefs are or what your position is on a subject. You have no control over another human being. But you always maintain the ability to control the way you react. Over time you can develop the ability to control your reaction and not respond out of emotion.

As with everything, a positive mindset takes practice to develop this ability. Do not be hard on yourself when you react emotionally. Just assess the reason and just the information to do better the next time it happens.

Have a blessed day, y’all.

Peggie Sue | The Midlife Dream Life Coach

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