Midlife Dream Life or “crisis”? Have you heard this growing up? Have you heard the “midlifer” driving the sports car referred to as being in a crisis? Or the “midlifer” who suddenly begins to travel being referred to as being in a crisis? How about a new job or suddenly becoming healthier or more fit than ever before? How about the crazy person standing in a swing? What about the older couple having a new baby?
All of these and so many more are nothing but someone’s limited perspective. Yes, again I say the power is in the perspective. How does anyone even know what, how, or why these things are happening? Why does it need a label? Why do you believe in the label?
Midlife is not a Crisis
The only crisis about midlife is the stereotype that we have toward age. We see every other developmental stage of life with curiosity and understanding. Why is there a disconnect when it hits the “Midlife” stage? According to Wethington et al. 2004. If you ask people of all ages to free-associate to the word “midlife,” usually a large percentage will quickly offer the word “crisis.” This likely reflects a widespread, cultural stereotype about this period, but not an accurate portrayal, as only a small percentage seems to experience a midlife crisis.
There are many life stories out there. As many as there are people. Why is it our predisposition to judge per our limited belief from the general consensus of the population to determine what is a crisis or a miracle? Consider this…
Do your beliefs need updating
What if the “midlifer” driving the new sports car waited all those years driving safe practical cars to raise a family and carry car seats? To keep insurance low and cost practical to serve a family? And now, the kids are grown and on to their own lives. No more high insurance with kids in the home. No need to be as practical. It’s time for the “midlifer” Dream.
What about the traveler? Maybe they could not afford to travel and raise a family Maybe they put that on hold. Now the family is grown and on their own. Now the cost is lower to travel alone. It’s time for the “midlifer” dream.
How about a new job? Years were spent at a job that was not fulfilling but paid the bills and met responsibilities. Now those day-to-day responsibilities have changed. Maybe the house is paid off or the car. Maybe they are finally out of debt. It’s time for the “midlifer” dream.
A healthier way of life. Wow, this is wonderful. So many do not take the time to focus on themselves while focusing on careers or families. Maybe even both. Now at this time in life, the career is stable, and no more endless hours. Maybe the doctor has brought new concerns to their attention and that is now a priority. It’s time for the “midlifer” dream.
We all know standing in a swing can be dangerous. Aren’t we all taught this growing up? We all also know that it is so fun and exhilarating. The key is to not get caught. Here’s the “midlifer” not needing to set an example at this time. They get to play and remember how exhilarating that can be. It’s time for the “midlifer” dream.
What about that older family with their new baby? Spending years working on a career and traveling the world or spending years trying to finally get their chance to raise a family? Whatever the circumstance it’s time for the “midlifer” dream.
Perspective is everything
I can go on and on with examples but I believe you get my point. Midlife is NOT a crisis. The stigma is very real but it is just that a stigma. The population explosion of middle-aged adults and the increased knowledge about this age period have led to the identification of midlife as a segment of the lifespan worthy of study in its own right. The effort to differentiate midlife from other periods of human development also reflects a growing interest in the optimization of aging. (Margie E. Lachman)
It’s time we update our beliefs and look at “midlife” with a whole new perspective. The only limit to the possibilities of what is possible is your limited belief. You are not in a crisis you are in the next phase of your life. Midlife is a natural phase and your perspective will determine what you choose to make of it and how you handle it.
For many, goals are being met. Jobs have topped out, kids have moved out, or just an overall sense of unrest. Who am I? What do I want next? Now is the time to reassess your dreams and goals and make the appropriate adjustments. Your not crazy to feel unsettled. To feel like you want more. It does not demean or belittle what you have done to this point it enhances all your experience and brings you to a place for new growth and discovery.
Make Midlife your Dream Life
Remember how fun it was to discover new things growing up? Finding out what you liked and didn’t like? Well, now you get to do that again with more experience and resources at your disposal. At this point, you have reached some of life’s pinnacles already and realized maybe some were not that important after all. So, this time around you have more to work with. Does that sound like a crisis?
It’s time to change your perspective and update your beliefs as to what is possible. Quit thinking about what others think is practical and get to know yourself. Truly know yourself. Then decide what is best for you. If you haven’t already, I invite you to get a free copy of my presentation to help you do just that at Peggie Sue | The Midlife Dream Life Coach.
I hope you come back for more on changing your perspective and updating your beliefs and please share if you found this even the slightest bit helpful.
Please share your comments on what challenges you have faced with the midlife “crisis” and how you have handled it.
Have a blessed day y’all,
Peggie Sue | The Midlife Dream Life Coach