Is there life after adult children abandon the nest? It may not feel like it if you are just entering this time of your life. I’m not going to lie and say it will be easy, but it will be worth it. I will tell you it could be wonderful.
The changes that come when your children move out are bittersweet. Chances are it is not what you expected. Even if you thought you were ready. You may still have other children at home. No matter your circumstance having one of your children move out is tough. Every one of your children moving out is tough.
There is a change in the entire dynamic of the household. Other siblings’ behavior will change also. The new normal will take some adjustment on everyone’s part. It is very strange. I found myself calling their name and having to remind myself they were gone. So where do you begin?
Just because you have an adult child leave it doesn’t automatically mean you have an extra room. If you have other children the barter over who gets the room is always fun. Each one makes a great argument as to why they should get the space. Completely forgot the decision is not theirs.
If you have no other children you still have to decide if you keep the space as-is for their return visits. Do you now have or even want a guest room? Are you going to keep it a bedroom at all?
Ultimately at this point, it is extra square footage for whatever you can dream up. This space is for your life after all they did abandon the nest.
You could make an office or hobby room. Make your current bedroom a dressing room and make this your new bedroom. You can get as creative as you want in totally redesigning this space to fit your new future.
Regardless of whether you ate as a family at the table, at the counter in the kitchen, on tv trays in the living room, or all ate on a cycle of different times and schedules. That has now changed by one at the very least. I don’t know about y’all be we did all the above at one time or another.
Daily food preparation will be different. It may be easier if you had special diets or were a finicky eater. It can also be more difficult to fix smaller portions. Depending on your family size. Leftovers are not always a popular option either.
You may find this a great time to make those healthier choices you always wanted. There are multiple menu planning ideas and tools available. One of them is bound to be a great fit for your new dinner time.
To much time on my hands
I know for me, at that time I always seemed to be in a hurry to get things done to get to the next task. From my work to get home to cook dinner. Then off to practice. To return home to get snacks and bath time in. Now that everyone is in bed it’s time to clean the house and get ready to do it all again. Does any of this sound familiar to you?
Do you remember the time you would have loved to have an extra hour. Did you ever say, I would do “this” or “that” if I had more time? Now that you have the time on your hands what are you doing with it? Are you doing any of the things you said you would? Do you even remember what they were? Your Life after adult children abandons the nest can have you asking yourself these questions again.
Learning to slow down can be difficult. Now that you are changing your schedule anyway it is the perfect time to restructure completely. Here are the top 10 apps that help you schedule your day. Choose the one that works for you and run your day more efficiently.
What are the top 2 or 3 things you would love to improve on? Use the new schedule to make time to do them. It will help you change your focus and develop this new midlife phase of life to the fullest. Look for the positives for life after adult children abandon the nest.
Letting go of control
How do you cut them loose to the world? To let go and trust is easier said than done. No matter how hard you practice letting your children learn and make mistakes it is different when they move out. When they are home you are there. You feel more in control. Haha, you aren’t but it sure feels better. You do at least know if they made it home or not.
The illusion of control since they were present may be comforting but in all actuality, the decisions are still theirs. They are going to make good and bad decisions just as we did. That is all part of the growing process. Watching them look to other avenues for the answers is hard. Letting them develop the ability to look for information and deduce it’s worth a struggle.
Developing good communication with your children by being a good listener will serve you well. Let them talk their way through what they are telling you. Lead gently and let them figure it out. It will not only improve your adult relationship with your children it will help them grow and learn how to trust their thought processes and intuition.
It can also be a great time of growth for you to learn how to let go and trust they will make many more good decisions than they will bad. Just remember to listen and not judge or say “I told you so” if something does go wrong. Trust me, if your kids are anything like mine they already remember what you said. That will only hinder your relationship and alienate your adult child. Use the experience to help them develop the skill to figure out how to handle bad decisions.
What do you do now
You choose your life after adult children abandon the nest. Everything from more time on your hands to how you will adjust what you fix for dinner is changing. How you will adjust your day will also depend on what you decide to do with the new time. Did you plan it? Do you have new goals in place?
It is natural to feel a sense of loss. It is difficult to let go and watch your children build their own adult lives. To be needed less as they get more involved in their new world is challenging. Don’t get stuck letting life pass you by waiting to be called on. Learn to embrace the change. Look at what is next.
How do you go about trying to figure it out? Where do you begin when it has been years since you had the time? Not to mention you have changed a lot since then. So, now what? To know where you want to go you have to know where you are.
To know where you are you also have to know who you are, and only you can answer that question. If you are still defining yourself by a “title”, you need to dig deeper. If you are unsure where or how to begin here is a step-by-step presentation on how to Rediscover your Power. It will guide you to find your truth.
MidLife Dream Life
Now is your time to live out the dream you had or have for yourself. Time to build your dream life after adult children abandon the nest. Every dream is different, but everyone has one. NO dream is too small or too large. The only limit is you. You are entering a new phase of life. Make it the best year yet! You have even more to offer now than you did 20 years ago. Use it to your advantage.
Finding out who you are will guide you to what you want to do. What fits with your happiness. Life is too short to waste. If you are not moving toward your dream and having fun in getting there then why do it?
Midlife does not have to be a crisis. You can make this the dream you always desired. If you are not happy doing what you are doing or don’t know what you want to do next. What are you going to do about it?
Now is your time to shine and make changes. You don’t have to follow anyone else’s dream. You only have to have the perspective that you are worth it. It is your turn.
What are you going to do with your midlife phase? Tell me all about it below.
Have a blessed day, Y’all,
Peggie Sue | The Midlife Dream Life Coach