How to Find Personal Space with the Whole Family Home. Oh my gosh y’all, are you finding it challenging to find some personal space to be you? I know this can be a challenge with young kids no matter what. As they holler through the bathroom door to talk to you. You can’t even do that in peace at times. Heck, let’s get real the older kids can be just as guilty. Right?
My children are grown now but I lovingly remember the tiny fingers under the bathroom door and shaking my head in wonder. These days as I travel I find myself in densely populated areas that have little privacy. When my neighbors sneeze I say bless you. Then laugh at me.
I usually spend most of my day with music playing. Not now unless I use headphones. With the majority of people now working from home, quiet is of the utmost importance for meetings and calls. Even the children who normally play and sing and holler are quiet as of late.
So what does one do to stay sane in this new world of constant daily change?
The challenges right now are many. Not being able to get out of the house is tough. The new normal has you making multiple trips to the car to remember your mask and all the usual things you forget. Like the list you made or the sample you brought with you to get what you needed. Along with everyone wanting to go with you because they need out to.
Nowhere to go and nowhere to hide at home… How is one supposed to keep their sanity in a time like this? Stress is high, nerves are stretched thin and tempers are on short fuses in more homes than ever before.
Housewives and mothers are suddenly having spouses working full time at home. Full-time workers who are used to being in a work/social setting are now at home with little to no contact with coworkers. Kids who used to go to school and classrooms are now doing online courses and spending most of their time messaging friends instead of studying. The house is FULL…
Self-care is a must
Finding self-care time is extremely important to maintaining one’s peace of mind. With so much more going on at home you need to take a little more care in your time and plan ahead. Look for daily windows of time you know others will be busy. Then plan accordingly, to do something for yourself.
In each slot of free time, you can schedule yourself time to do something for yourself. Quiet time, time to read, time for phone calls, heck even time for a nap if you must. The key is to change your outlook to see the opportunities you have during the day so you can make the most of each one.
How to Find Personal Space
Defining everyone’s space will help provide a place you can make your own. For some, it’s bedrooms or office spaces. Others have no set space and just roam the house. Design your layout to fit your needs. Without enough private rooms, space can be challenging.
You may need to schedule time in a room by the hour to give everyone privacy. You may find a corner space you can make your own. A place you go to and no one bothers you when you are in your space. Get creative and look for opportunities to express yourself and make the space yours.
Make trips outside count
Going to the store is almost a joyous break now. Just to get out and have time to yourself. Wait, do you? Have time to yourself that is? Or is everyone else wanting to get out also? Are you now all in the car? Now all you can picture in your mind is an empty house…
Try having a signup sheet to limit who gets to go with you. Make sure you get to sign the list yourself also! Yes, everyone gets a turn including you. This way you get to keep yourself company on one trip!
What about stay at home workers
As much as you do not like your space invaded. You must also consider the fact that maybe not all your intruders want to be there either. It may feel as if they are all in your space and disrupting you on purpose.
Chances are they are also floundering to find some kind of normality. No more offices to work in. No more communication with coworkers in the halls. Conversations had in person do not always belong in an email or text. The trips to the water cooler to stretch now turn into trips to the kitchen to bother you.
Everyone is going through a difficult time in their own way. Someone has to hold it all together and get this new adventure on track before the crew mutinies. You can not do it alone but you can be the proactive guide to get everyone back on a happier schedule. Including yourself.
Communication is the Key
No matter how creative you can get to have space and time to yourself communication is the key. Yes, everyone needs to have a say in what it is they would like. Also what they are willing to give up to get it.
It has to be a give and take between siblings (tough on a normal day) but a fair one. Family spaces need to be open for all to have time. You can be creative and even have a barter system to trade time and space or trips outside.
As much as you may enjoy venting to a friend or neighbor think of what you are venting about. Are you only focusing on the negative? Challenge yourself to list off the positive aspects also. Make a game of it and see who can list more good things. This may sound silly but what you focus on grows so practice focusing on the good.
Be Honest
This is important as a family always but right now not being honest about what you want or need could end up in undue resentment. Having the courage to speak about what you are truly feeling or needing will avoid a lot of issues.
Ask yourself if you are being honest. Truly honest. Are you overextending yourself to try and keep the peace? Is this going to convey the love you want to convey if you start getting short-tempered and depressed?
Would it not be more loving, to be honest upfront and help everyone find a healthier environment? Not to mention it is a great time to work on those communication skills. It can be very difficult to communicate effectively from day to day and when you add in all the stress. it is even more crucial that you take the time to clarify if you are unclear.
Making sure you understand and are understood takes time and patience. We all hear through our own filters of experience. Be proactive and say “I do not understand”. Try asking “How may I help you with this”? Understanding where someone else is coming from can change your perspective.
Family life is fun and joyful overall. But when life throws you a curveball you have to find ways to be proactive. You can keep the fights and challenges to a minimum by taking the time to communicate and set guidelines before issues arise.
Individualize your plan
Y’all, every situation right now is different. From kids home, out-of-house workers now working from home, unemployment, learning new online skills to name a few. Looking for a cookie-cutter solution will only frustrate you.
Taking the time to research ideas and tweaking them to fit your lifestyle is going to give you the most chance at finding lasting success. You may find one great suggestion for each topic you look at. Have others in the house research ideas also and give them some ownership over the new normal.
It is so challenging to run a household and even more stressful right now than ever before. Taking time to be proactive will give you a sense of power over your situation. Look for the good everywhere you can and take time to acknowledge progress.
Staying positive is not always easy but it is definitely worth the effort. What you focus on grows. So, focus on what you know is great while you work on improving the rest.
Please share your family saving tips below. How have you made this time of challenge work in your house? Comment below and share your knowledge.
Have a blessed day Y’all,
Peggie Sue | The Midlife Dream Life Coach
