How to communicate better using cognitive learning to your advantage. Have you ever said, “What did I say”? Are these words you use often? Have you found yourself feeling frustrated and unheard? Feeling unheard is very common. Even more common is the immediate reaction of frustration at the person you are trying to communicate with. The belief that you are being ignored or undervalued is a complaint of many women.
Looking at communication with frustration will only lead to more miscommunication. It is very difficult to slow down and look at what is actually happening. Especially when you repeat yourself over and over on a regular basis.
Whether it be your spouse saying “you didn’t tell me that” or your children only completing half the task you described in detail. Finding ways to disarm your frustration before you lose your cool should be the ultimate goal.
Trying to understand is difficult when you are mumbling to yourself and shaking your head in disbelief. Why does this keep happening when you explain in such detail? Does any of his sound familiar?
If you have ever gotten frustrated and felt unheard then read on! Taking the time to understand the part you play in the process will help you reduce your frustration. The ultimate goal is better communication for all concerned.
The art of communication
There is definitely an art to communicating effectively. The most affluent communicators are highly sought after by all. They write books, movies, become inspirational speakers or specialize in marketing and sales to name a few.
Anyone who has mastered communication to the level of a prize-winning author probably has little difficulty expressing themselves. What about the average person who is not a wonderful storyteller?
How can you learn to communicate effectively? Being able to communicate clearly to get all the trash taken out correctly can be a huge milestone, Right?
Let’s look at the different ways that people receive information. We often look at the common communication styles. What about the different learning styles? How do you process the information around you?
How Do We Learn
Everyone processes and learns new information differently There are between 3 and 9 different styles, depending on where you research. Within the various different cognitive styles Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic are the three main constant styles. Of these three 65% of the population are visual learners.
When trying to communicate to those we love the tendency to get frustrated and take it personally is very common. Especially as a parent who is trying to get some task performed by what may be seen as a stubborn or lazy child, kid, or teenager. When in actuality it may be a lack of understanding.
I’m sure you feel you are making yourself perfectly clear as to what you are wanting. The question is are you being understood in your delivery of the message? What are the differences in the most common styles?
Cognitive Learning Styles
- Visual – as the name suggests they use imagery or internal images such as maps, graphs, diagrams, and lists. They remember things in written form well. Using color-coded or different tones or brightness is very effective. They can picture the information and ideas in their mind. Communicates with a faster mode of speech.
- Auditory – prefers to listen to instruction. Lectures or storytelling or even music is preferred. Repeating back the main points helps them to memorize the information. They are sensitive to the change of tone in speech. Communicates in moderate storytelling mode of speech.
- Kinesthetic – like the hands-on approach to learning. They learn by doing. They would rather be shown how to do something. Communicates slower with more pauses.
How To Use Cognitive Learning To Your Advantage
Now that you have the basic format for each style can you recognize your learning style? How do you learn best? Can you put styles and names together in your house?
Regardless of how you communicate you can effectively get your message across by delivering it in a manner that is understood by the person you are talking to. The best part of knowing the styles is having the ability to reference what needs to happen.
If you are telling someone what you want to be done and it’s not getting done then you can try making a list to see if that works. If not you may need to show them how to do the job. Now you have options to see what works best. You can make adjustments with confidence.
Just as the delivery method can inhibit your delivery so can the verbal speed in which you deliver your instructions. Each style has there own usual speech pattern also. So to communicate at the appropriate speed will also increase your understanding.
If you speak to a kinesthetic style too fast they will have a tendency to miss words as they are still processing the beginning and missing what you are saying. A visual learner will become frustrated if you talk too slow. Knowing how to use your speech pattern to also be heard will increase your success drastically.
How To Communicate Better Using Cognitive Learning To Your Advantage
How to communicate better using cognitive learning to your advantage may not work immediately. As frustrating as repeating yourself can be. Taking steps to improve your chances will help lower your stress. Learning how your household learns will not only help you get things done better it will help you set your family up for success.
Using your new skills, you can help them understand how they learn best so they can take advantage of other areas of their life. Be it at work, school, or in social settings. Using your frustration to get a positive result is still a win.
Not every situation will turn out. Sometimes the kids just forget to take the trash out. No amount of communication will help every time. Having the capability to increase your weekly average will improve your home life and that is the best win of all.
Running a household can be very rewarding. Having the tools you need to make the job easier is a blessing any day of the week. I would love to hear how you managed to solve your communication challenges.
Have a blessed day, Y’all,
Peggie Sue | The Midlife Dream Life Coach