Are you looking to build confidence? Here are the 6 Pillars of True Confidence. What does that mean, “True Confidence”? The most common mistake people make when looking to build confidence is believing it comes from an external source. Thinking someone can give it to you or it can be bought leads to failure. True confidence comes from within. Let me expound.
Confident energy is contagious. You can feel it when you enter a room. What is it that makes some people more confident than others? What is the secret sauce that confident people know? Why are they able to operate with such confidence? What is it that sets them apart?
There is no real secret to confidence. It is developed by a conscious effort to nurture yourself to be happy and secure in who you are. Yes, true confidence is built. You build it through small successes and becoming secure and congruent in your beliefs and values.
When you are truly congruent you know who you are. When you know who you are you can nurture the aspects you like and work to develop the areas you do not like. Thinking that confident people do not have shortcomings is a fallacy. They just know what they are and are consciously working to improve them.
How can you develop these skills? What are the 6 pillars in the secret sauce for true confidence? What is the magic recipe to build unshakeable true confidence? The following are the 6 pillars of true confidence in any situation.
6 Pillars Of True Confidence
A positive perspective does not mean everything is always positive. It means you possess the ability to find the positive in any situation. Let’s be honest here, life is always evolving around you. It is up to you to filter it.
What you focus on is what grows. If you develop the ability to search for something positive you will grow your positive perspective. This may sound oversimplified but it is where you start. If you start to challenge your mind to find something positive, it will develop the ability to find it, faster and faster.
When something challenging is happening look for a learning moment. What is this trying to each me? Ask yourself, “What belief do I have that is making me react in the way I am”? Using the challenge for the chance to grow as a person can be your silver lining.
It is all in the power of your perspective to face life with an open mind to the growth opportunities all around you. Your only limit is you and your perspective.
Embrace your Individuality.
To truly comprehend the basis of this mindset is you need to understand and believe in individuality. True individuality allows you to choose what you believe. Yes, your childhood and life experience play a factor. The key is knowing it does not define you. Your beliefs do.
You can update your beliefs just as you do on your phone. Let me explain. Your phone has been updated regularly to fix bugs and limited functionality. What if your phone stayed the same even when apparent issues are limiting its use? It would eventually begin to get in the way of you being productive.
Your brain is the same way. Normally the brain updates naturally as you get more information. On occasion, it malfunctions. When you hang on to a limiting belief, you limit your functionality. Learning to address where you are sabotaging yourself and adjusting is true ownership of your individuality. It’s like updating and fixing your “bugs”.
Life is not perfect. That does not mean you can not choose to be happy. How you choose to react to life around you is a personal choice every day. When you get up in the morning if you give thanks immediately and choose a grateful attitude you will feel happier overall.
Throughout your day things will be happening, some good, some not so good. At this point, it becomes your choice on how to handle it. You can look for the positive in the situation and always find a way to stay on the side of happiness. If you choose to focus on the negative attributes of your day they will grow.
Whenever you focus on something good or bad it grows. Your brain will automatically look for evidence to prove your beliefs right. What are your beliefs around happiness? Do you have ideas on what is necessary to be happy that limit your ability to find the silver lining in any situation?
Happiness breeds confidence and confidence breeds happiness. The two go hand in hand. You may need to take a look at what you believe about happiness to help unlock your mind to the possibilities.
Don’t take things personally.
This is a huge stepping stone to master. To truly hold onto your confidence, no matter what, you need to understand this concept completely. It is not the act of ignoring someone.
If you believe in individuality then you can also understand that people respond to life from where they are in life. Not everyone has or desires the ability to adjust and live their best life, yet. Everyone comes to this conclusion at their own time.
A negative response or rudeness at you should not be taken personally. I myself choose to say a short prayer for them. This is my approach to helping them. It also gives me a moment to look at the situation and decide honestly if I need to work on something. I am not perfect but I will not allow poor delivery to ruin my confidence. Neither should you.
It was not directed at you necessarily. They may be having a bad day. They may have a limiting belief due to a previous situation. Whatever it may be you do not need to take it upon yourself.
A short prayer for them may not work for you. So find your approach to release the judgment. Just do not take ownership of it and remember to use an approach that chooses happiness!
Learn to laugh often. Laughter is food for your soul. It builds confidence when you learn to turn it inward. Laughing at yourself is liberating. Letting go and enjoying that you are human and make mistakes is true freedom.
Are you self-conscious or belittle yourself when you are not perfect? Why? What belief do you have that says you HAVE to be perfect? Does this belief serve you? The conversations you have with yourself will make or break you.
You always have the ability to choose how you feel. Learning to embrace the joy of learning something new and focusing on the improvement process rather than instant perfection will let you find more humor.
It will also have a residual effect on those around you. Humor spreads, so empower others while you are improving yourself.
Dress for success.
If you want to feel confident you must dress for success. I get asked all the time what I am dressed for and I always answer the same. Me. No matter where I am going or even if I choose to stay home for the day. I put on clothes that I like and feel good in.
If you want to be more confident then invest in your attire. You don’t need to buy a new wardrobe you just need to take the time to put yourself together with confidence. If you get dressed and you feel frumpy or negative about yourself. Change!
It may sound silly but you can not be confident if you do not feel confident. Take the extra time to put on the right clothes for your day. Whatever outfit you need to feel truly good about taking yourself through your day.
You also need to take ownership. Do not go looking for someone to tell you that your outfit looks great. You need to feel this for yourself. That gives you the ability to smile with confidence if someone asks why you are dressed as you are. Once you feel good in your clothes you won’t need anyone else to like them. That’s the true power of confidence.
What Comes Next?
A lot of practice is always needed to improve any skill. Know that no matter how good you become at all the above there will be days that you fall short. No one is perfect. The key is to use each experience to improve and use the failures to readjust your approach.
With consistent practice every day you will grow your ability to face any situation with confidence every day. Finding the exact magic recipe for confidence will take some trial and error. Just be sure you keep practicing even when it does not always go well.
Always remember that just because you believe something is true today that does not mean it will be true next week. As you learn and grow take the time to adjust your beliefs about who you are and where you are heading.
This life is a journey and should be enjoyed to the fullest at every opportunity. I do hope you find my 6 Pillars of True Confidence helpful and I do hope you will share the knowledge.
I do offer more in-depth, step-by-step coaching, but you have what you need here, to make the necessary changes, to live the most confident year of your life!
Have a blessed day, Y’all,
Peggie Sue | The Midlife Dream Life Coach