How to move on after a divorce.

Moving on after a divorce can be very trying.  As life challenges arise it is so easy to blame the divorce or your ex spouce for the events in your life.  Now in some cases there are issues that are the result of either or both of the above but I am not refering to  those specific situations.  I am talking about daily life and the tendency to fall back on blame.  How can you avoid the blame and continue on to a new life?

Break the habit.

  1. Admit you are using it as a crutch.  Blame is easier than accountability. It is easier than taking responsibility for your life.
  2. Focus on solutions.  Quit focusing on the problems themselves and start focusing on finding the solutions.
  3. Let It Go.  Hanging on to the past is natural because it is famuliar.  You must let it go and move into the rest of your life no matter how scary it feels.

Practice, practice, practice.

To make a new mindset takes a lot of practice.  You will fail daily and need to navigate a bad day gracefully.  Try to focus on the fact that you are making progress, and your are working on a new way of thinking.  You are now seeing what you are doing and conciously making an effort to make the necessary changes to move forward. Keep going, it will get easier over time but do not judge yourself when you fail.  Just start over again and be proud that you caught yourself being negative. 
The key is to learn to love yourself enough to move forward, even afraid if necessary.  The new and unknown may be scary but staying where you are with no growth should scare you more. Just keep moving toward the new life you are designing and don’t forget to make it Fabulous!

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