The human life is very fascinating and what makes it more fascinating is change. Change is one aspect of life that is inevitable. Some embrace change with an open mind while others are skeptical about changes especially changes such as moving to a new city or getting a new job.

What do you do after a relationship you’ve given so suddenly hits the rocks? How do you view life when you are diagnosed with a life threatening disease or you have a change of career and start a new job?

How you handle change as a woman is very important. For so many women experience self doubt after going through a breakup or have self doubt when they take on a new job or might even begin to have a massive bout that includes low self-esteem after they have been diagnosed with an illness.

In the end you may begin to withdraw into your shell, you begin to be gloomy and sad for most part of your day, you no longer want to be around people and nothing excites you any longer. It is at this stage that the real danger lies- when you begin to have self-doubt.

This train of thought is very dangerous to the mind of the individual. This is because, if not dealt with properly, one could end up being less confident about life. This is just a ticking time bomb for a whole lot of other issues to develop. So just how can you manage yourself to make sure you don’t fall into the muddy waters of self-doubt?

  • Control your thoughts: Becoming a master of your thoughts is not some distant wish that is unattainable. This is rather a very achievable thing that needs constant practice. Each time you get a negative thought; don’t even try to fight it. Rather switch to thoughts of beautiful and loving things immediately. Do not allow your mind to keep wandering back to the pains and disappointments of the past. You are better off thinking of beautiful and happy things. Discipline yourself to be happy. You will see yourself being happy.
  • Get busy: Being idle is the best way to give pain and resentment more ground to grow. When this happens or begins to happen, self-doubt is not far off. Get busy. Look out for things you have always wanted to do. These are things that can keep you busy and happy. There’s no need throwing yourself into a something you don’t love doing. At the new office and new city, try and take on challenges that will help you become better. The more challenging these activities, the better. You will notice that in no distant time, you would have gained more confidence in yourself.
  • Seek help: Sometimes what you need is just some encouragement. What you require at that moment is a piece of advice that sets things in perspective. These can then help you snap out of self-doubt. So, seek help. You can talk to a friend, colleague or family member who you are comfortable with. Remember to open up to people who are great listeners and will not judge you. They also have to be able to give honest and candid advice. If you have no one like that in your circle of friends and family, the next option is to seek professional counsel. You can talk with a professional such as a psychologist and get things out of your system.
  • Focus more on developing yourself: Sometimes the feeling of self-doubt canaries because you know you really needs some improvement. It could be in learning to be better in manners, academically, financially or otherwise. Find and focus on improving any area of your life that you need to do so. A person’s best weapon is confidence in their capacity.
  • Set goals and work towards them: Another way to fight self-doubt is to do the one thing that opposes it –gather confidence. When you set goals for yourself and achieve them, you get this deep joy that spreads into confidence in yourself. You feel better and happy in the knowledge that there is nothing you want to achieve that you can’t. Set goals and ace them. Remember to set realistic goals that are also time bound. So you don’t feel guilty if you can’t achieve them.
  • Increase the positive vibes around you: Stop listening to sad and slow songs. Instead read good books, listen to songs that lift the spirit and hang around people who give you a positive attitude. Try as much as you can to weed out stuff that will only make you sad and less-confident. You have the power of choice so make the choice to be happy always no matter what. Find a positive support group.
  • Find ways to let go of the past: If you still feel less than confident or unsure of your happiness when you see your ex or see your old work mates or your former neighborhood friends who seem to have moved on without you, then you have not truly let the past go. This may in time, prove dangerous for your mind. Dispose of things that remind you of the past. Let go of as much memories as you can. Above all forgive yourself and any hurt that may have been done to you. When you forgive and let go, you will gradually feel more strength to carry on and improve your self-confidence.
  • Pray: If you’re a religious person, then you should consider praying also. Praying helps you relax. It clears your head and leaves you feeling generally well. So take time to do it if you’re religious.

Finally, realize that you are in no competition with anybody to show off happiness. You must take things at your own pace. Find for yourself the right path to become more confident in yourself. Explore new things and improve in any way you can. Always remember that a big change is no reason to think low of you. Rather, learn to turn all things that seem negative to something positive.



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